One of the most depressing parts about England and the English is that they seem to think, despite all evidence to the contrary, that their landscape is pretty. This leads me to one of three conclusions:
1. The English are entirely sightless, like those cave lizards that are born without eyes.
2. The English immigrated from Greenland, the inside of a volcano, or the alley behind my kitchen where the crackheads hang out.
3. The English have a remarkable talent for self-delusion.
The English countryside is dull green grass under a dull grey sky, and if it's not raining, it always seems like it has both just rained and is about to rain. In that video, there are like eighty pictures of what might as well be the same field, plus some of the exciting topographical details, like a dead tree with no leaves! Or some dead brown grass to contrast with the green grass that only wishes it was dead! The highest peak in the nation is Cross Fell, at a whopping 2,930 feet. I had to look up a normal-sized mountain because I had no idea what that number meant, but for reference, the 100th tallest peak in the Rockies is Cornwall Mountain, at over TWELVE THOUSAND feet. The country is flatter than most hockey rinks. It's lucky for England that I'm not the type to make crass dick jokes, honestly.
In case you don't ever make it out to rural England, here's what it has to offer:
3 comments:
author agatha christie's grave, hahaha
keep these posts coming my dull grey way. i miss u guyz.
PS - YOU SPELLED "GREY" THE BRITISH WAY.
The English countryside is fairly flat because we haven't had any decent orogeny around these parts since the Paleozoic era. All the subsequent glaciation and rain has had a bit of an effect too.
Saying that though, the British are quite proud of their mediocre overgrown molehills and spend may happy weekends wandering around them in freezing rain, thick fog and howling winds. I wouldn't describe the experience necessarily as fun, but it beats staying home listening to Coldplay.
And, ahem. Parts of the US are a bit flat too yunno.
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